One Possible Explanation

I have long since traced my attraction to youthful men back to my childhood adoration of my brother.

At the gym, a further thought crossed my mind, and this thought made frightening amounts of sense to me. What if, say, as a child I perceived my father as a threat of some sort ~ whether accurately or not doesn't really matter for the sake of this discussion. Let's say I perceived him as somehow emotionally (and sexually?) unsafe. And let's say also that I perceived my brother as emotionally nurturing (which he was) and entirely safe (ditto).

Why wouldn't I adore him? Why wouldn't my little psychological bird-brain imprint on him as an appropriate type to become attached to? From my childhood to my adolescence my brother, who is ten years older than me, was my model of a good guy. My image of a good guy was formed around a young man of no more than about 28 years of age.

And wouldn't it then make sense that I would rarely, if ever, be attracted to older, or older-looking or -acting men? They remind me of my father. The only man I've ever dated who was older than I (by all of five years) was 25 at the time.

It's not at all clear what, if anything, I can do with the additional insight. But there it is.